Break Free From Painful Patterns with Dr. Alison Cook

In this bonus episode, Carla sits down with Dr. Alison Cook to talk all about her new book - The Best of You.  Alison uses faith-based psychology to help you heal, set wise limits and discover your true self in God. You don’t want to miss this powerful conversation!

About Alison and The Best of You

Carla asks Dr. Alison to share how her book looks at how we have to heal ourselves so we can live the life God intends for us.

Dr. Alison shares that she encountered God in college, but was unequipped for the “loving as yourself” piece, leading to loneliness, resentment and burnout. Loving others as yourself goes deeper than self-care, but about looking at your relationship with yourself.

“The Best of You” came from this question - What does it mean to become our true self in God?

Selflessness vs Selfishness and the Middle Ground of Self-Hood

What is self-hood? It is becoming a whole person and understanding who you are uniquely. Psychology and faith go hand-in-hand - God transcends the field of psychology.

The image of God is reflected in us uniquely, so there is power in getting to know your:

  • Gifts
  • Strengths
  • Struggles
  • Limitations
  • Woundings
  • Preferences

Jesus is a perfect example of whole self-hood, as he fully inhabited his life as a human on earth. We need to be bringing our true selves to our relationships and all we do.

There is power in acknowledging your needs as Jesus did!

Correcting what it mean to “Die To Self”

Carla and Dr. Alison discuss how women in the church need to acknowledge their needs and practice boundaries, just as Jesus did. We can often use “Dying to Self” as a prop for the idol of uplifting self and people-pleasing over obeying Christ.

Dying to self is not:

  • Self-berating
  • Putting yourself last
  • Being a doormat

Facing Pain

Facing your pain is absolutely crucial to becoming your best self.

So where do you start?

  1. Don’t do it alone.

Get help for your trauma, your unwitnessed pain. Whether it’s therapy, a support group, etc, get support!

  1. Get curious.

Instead of shoving your feelings aside, cue in. Ask yourself “why” you’re feeling those emotions and pull on that string.

We can experience multiple emotions at once. You can experience the joy of the Lord and grief at the same time and STILL be a Christian. Don’t shy away from the hard things because you feel it threatens your faith! It’s not a reflection of your spiritual condition if you are battling big feelings.

Shifting Culture

How can we shift away from judgment as Christians? We want to approach facing pain and big feelings with compassion, not shame! We can partner with churches to act out simple ways to support members of the body. Always be willing to learn and practice understanding!

Our actions should enable consistent HOPE and LOVE in humility. Practice being present.

Look to Jesus as a champion for those in pain.

Connect With Dr. Alison:

Instagram: @dralisoncook


Connect With Carla:

Join In His Image Wellness Collective --->

Inquire about one-on-one mentorship --->

Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges

Check out my blog and more at


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