S7 Bonus 2 | Don’t Let Anxiety Steal Your Joy with Courtney Devich
Join this conversation with Carla and Courtney Devich - author of Mama’s Got Anxiety But It’s Not Going to Steal Her Joy!
Courtney shares her journey with motherhood, worry and how God is continuing to lead her to JOY even in the midst of ongoing anxiety. Learn how she stopped letting anxiety boss her around and rule her life.
Connect with Courtney:
This conversation with Courtney is a powerful reminder that faith can be a source of strength and healing, even in the midst of anxiety and other mental health challenges. Whether you're a mom or not, Courtney's story and insights offer hope and encouragement for anyone facing their own battles with anxiety and mental health.
The Heart Behind the Book
Courtney's book, "Mama's Got Anxiety," isn't about being completely healed from anxiety; it's about taking back joy from anxiety.
She believes that God can use her anxiety for good, connecting her to Him and allowing her to share her story to help others.
Coping with Anxiety
Courtney emphasizes the importance of not letting anxiety dictate your life. She faced her fears and had a third child despite her anxieties about another pregnancy.
She leans on her faith, reading the Bible, prayer, and worship music when anxiety strikes.
Courtney also stresses the significance of seeking help, whether through a support system, therapy, or medication.
Faith and Mental Health
Courtney shares her past experiences with mental health struggles and feeling distant from God.
Over time, her struggles have drawn her closer to her faith and have shown her that Jesus is always with her.
She acknowledges that talking openly about mental health within the church community is essential to breaking the stigma.
Encouragement for Moms in the Trenches
Courtney encourages moms in challenging situations to ask for help, whether from family, friends, or professionals.
She reminds moms that Jesus is always there, even in the chaos, and recommends praying throughout the day.
Courtney also highlights the importance of modeling faith for children, showing them what it means to have a relationship with God.
Where to Find Courtney's Book
"Mama's Got Anxiety, but it's Not Going to Steal Her Joy" is available on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, Christian books, and more.
You can connect with Courtney on her website at CourtneyDevich.com or on Instagram and Facebook as @CourtneyDevichAuthor.
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla: Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
[00:00:30] Carla: I am so glad you're here. Let's get started. Hello Affirming Truths. I am so excited. This is season seven and our first interview of season seven. And I have Courtney Devich. Did I say it right? Devich. Yeah. Devich. Guys, I was practicing this like 10 times before saying it, but I'm so excited. So excited to have Courtney here.
[00:00:56] Carla: She is the author of Mama's Got Anxiety, [00:01:00] but it's not going to steal her joy. And she's in the thick of being a mama. She has three all under what's five years old, six years old. Yeah,
[00:01:12] Courtney: it'll be six here in a couple of months, actually.
[00:01:14] Carla: Wow. So it is busy and you managed to write a book on Instagram.
[00:01:23] Carla: Or I'd like to say God brought us together. And I was really drawn to your site because of your transparency in walking through anxiety, walking through the call of motherhood, walking the walk of faith, and still going through anxiety. So welcome to the show. And depression. Yeah. Um, So why don't you just give us a little backstory, like, who is Courtney?
[00:01:55] Carla: When did you start recognizing that anxiety [00:02:00] was creeping into your life?
[00:02:02] Courtney: Yeah. Um, so I am a stay at home mom. Um, I used to be in HR and I became a stay at home mom at the beginning of the pandemic, ironically, because of my anxiety. Um, I could not imagine putting my kids in daycare during just all the chaos and all the unknowns of all that.
[00:02:20] Courtney: So, um, I, my anxiety caused me to be a stay at home mom. And it's actually Turned out to be a blessing because I have not gone back now and we're almost four years later here. Um, and I would not have started writing if I had not become a stay at home mom, because I did not have time or anything before that, um, working 50 hours a week.
[00:02:38] Courtney: So I live in Michigan with my husband, my three kids, as you said, the youngest is three months old. So I am in the thick of the early years, the trenches of motherhood here. Um, I would say I've had anxiety my entire life. Um, I, I really recognize that a lot looking back at my life, um, in my childhood, I wasn't formally diagnosed though [00:03:00] until I was 19.
[00:03:01] Courtney: And then I would say that motherhood just totally like skyrocketed it. Um, my oldest, he was born four weeks premature. Um, and just a lot, he was really, really small, five pounds. Lots of anxiety about getting his birth weight up and breastfeeding was not working for me. And we had jaundice and, um, just all of all the anxiety that, and then the next baby after that was just anxiety of, am I going to have another premature birth?
[00:03:32] Courtney: Um, and it was a high risk pregnancy because I had preeclampsia with the first and, and so motherhood is just, you know, Amplified it. And then you also, you know, have the postpartum anxiety, all the worries of SIDS and is the swaddle tight enough and are they gaining enough weight and just the sleep deprivation and the postpartum depression that also comes with it.
[00:03:56] Courtney: Um, so that's. You know, kind of been [00:04:00] my experience with anxiety and motherhood, the book, then the heart behind it. Um, because I say in the intro that I'm not yet healed of my anxiety. I don't know if I ever will be, I do know I will be in heaven. That's where my healing comes. Um, but on this side of heaven, um, I believe that God is.
[00:04:18] Courtney: Is using my anxiety for good to go out and spread the message that you are not alone, sister with your anxiety. Um, so as I said, uh, I became a stay at home mom during the pandemic and it was supposed to be this happy time of taking the kids to the zoo and the park and getting to do all these things that I didn't get to do before when I was a working mom, but I wasn't able to because of.
[00:04:43] Courtney: COVID and my anxiety. So my anxiety was stealing my joy in motherhood. And that's kind of where the thought came of, okay, the book isn't about healing necessary because I'm not yet healed myself. It's about taking my joy back from my debilitating [00:05:00] anxiety and basically taking my life back. And I have just telling everybody that I've been on this journey.
[00:05:07] Courtney: As I wrote the book, um, when I first hit submit to my agent, I was still like hunkered down in my house, um, living like one anxiety attack after another. And as I wrote the book, I've journeyed on the other side of it to joy. I've been in a way better place with my anxiety. My last pregnancy was the most peaceful pregnancy I've ever experienced.
[00:05:29] Courtney: And, um, Struggling with some postpartum depression right now, but, um, the anxiety is definitely not as crippling as it was. It's been over a year since I've had a panic attack.
[00:05:42] Carla: Um, Oh, amazing.
[00:05:44] Courtney: So yes, my joy is my joy is back. I've got some anxiety about my anxiety book right now, but I also am really busy.
[00:05:52] Courtney: Season of my life, like just the amount of transitions I'm going through here with one star kindergarten, a new baby, a new book, [00:06:00] baby,
[00:06:01] Carla: it's understandable to be a little on it. Yeah. You know, I like to remind myself to, I, I have, um, bipolar and BPD and they come with waves of highs and lows and depression.
[00:06:16] Carla: I always tell myself when I start to feel a certain feeling. That it's not always just mental illness, like regular healthy human emotions wax and wane too. So just because you're feeling down one time doesn't mean you're relapsing or just because you're feeling anxious in a moment where a regular person would feel anxious.
[00:06:38] Carla: Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't necessarily mean it's a relapse. It might be louder, but it's, it, it, it makes sense. It's part of the regular human flow. Yeah. Um, so. You came out on the other side reclaiming your joy. Yes. How do you, how do you do that? How do you [00:07:00] reclaim your joy?
[00:07:01] Courtney: So in, um, the last chapter of the book, I discussed about just, um, not letting anxiety boss me around basically anymore.
[00:07:10] Courtney: Not gonna, not gonna tell me how I'm going to live my life or, you know, I, I need to avoid this because it might make me anxious. Um, one specific story that I'm. That's not in the book that's now kind of like a on the other side of it story is that in um, the book I do mention that I have had anxiety about having another child and that my anxiety was potentially keeping me from having a third baby because I didn't want to have another anxious pregnancy, potentially another preemie baby.
[00:07:41] Courtney: I didn't really, it was like, do I want another baby to even worry about? Like, you know, having another child just means more worries in my mind at the time. That's what I was thinking. So, In this process of writing this book, I submitted the manuscript, um, last August and it was beginning of September, just like [00:08:00] two or three weeks later, I found out I was pregnant with my third baby.
[00:08:03] Courtney: Um, and it was planned. So it was a moment of me taking my joy back and looking my anxiety straight in the face and be like, Nope, you're not going to. You know, dictate my, my child plans, baby plans here. You're not going to, um, control my life anymore. And I'm going to take my joy back. And now I've got a bundle of joy.
[00:08:24] Courtney: Um, it's also teething already, but, um, so that's kind of been like my story of coming out to the other side of it. And just knowing that my anxiety is something that I believe God can use for good. Um, he is. He's brought me closer to him through it because when anxiety strikes it's him I'm going to whether it's reading my bible, prayer, turning on some worship music, like it's drawing me closer to him.
[00:08:54] Courtney: Um, and that I believe is a way that he's turned it for good as well. So, and not being [00:09:00]able to. Be ashamed of it anymore. I mean, obviously I'm having to share it with the whole world here. That's like, there's no way to, to avoid it when somebody asks you, what, what'd you write your book about? Um, so just sharing my story and my testimony and glorifying him throughout all of it is just how I found my way onto
[00:09:17] Carla: the other side of joy.
[00:09:19] Carla: I love that. I've often said about my mental illness, that it has been actually a beautiful tethering to Christ where I might Become too self sufficient otherwise, and, um, he has been working it out for good. And I love how you said that you weren't going to let anxiety, you know, boss you around. I use that with, um, my son, Caleb, who has OCD and we, we call OCD his bully.
[00:09:52] Carla: We're not going to let ourselves get bullied by our illnesses. No, we're going to recognize them. But then we're going [00:10:00] to take. Ownership and leadership and so how has your faith manifested through all of this and and how has your faith community been about your discussion about anxiety because I know a lot of our, my listeners, um, who reach out to me and feel.
[00:10:27] Carla: A lot of spiritual burden put on them because of their struggles with their mental health. Yeah. What has your experience been like
[00:10:36] Courtney: that? So when I, um, was a teenager, I struggled with depression and suicidal ideation. And in the church that I grew up on, grew up in and was raised, um, If I had committed suicide, I would not have, you know, I would have gone to hell and I would have not been able to have been buried in the church cemetery or anything like that.
[00:10:59] Courtney: So [00:11:00] it was really when I was going through that as a teenager, um, I felt like. I was not worthy of God and God's love, and it, it pushed me away from him because, and really it was the church that it was made me believe that, yeah. Um, that, you know, my depression was a sign that God doesn't love me or He, how could he love me if I was having these thoughts, was my belief.
[00:11:23] Courtney: Um, later in life, going through another bout of depression, um, I actually started. It was just like this hopelessness moment of just, I don't know if I've got anything else to try. And I started reading Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life. And after reading that, I went to the Bible. And so it was an, it was kind of a full circle moment of my depression was kind of one of those things that kind of pushed me away from.
[00:11:52] Courtney: God a little bit. Like, I don't think I ever, like, fully, um, I didn't stop believing in him or anything. It was just, uh, we were not [00:12:00] in the same relationship status as we were before. Um, so it was a full circle moment of coming, the thing that had driven me away, prodigal daughter coming home was the thing that brought me back home to him.
[00:12:13] Courtney: Um, so my mental illness has brought me back to him. And as my anxiety has heightened, it's brought me even closer to him. I would say, um, like I said, like just through turning to him throughout all of it, um, leaning on him and his strength and his comfort. And, um, that. Um, I've obviously since I'm in a new different church community from what I grew up in, um, and I am very, very grateful that the church community that I have found has been very supportive of this book, this message, like I've never been before.
[00:12:52] Courtney: Once been told by anybody in my congregation that I just need to pray more, um, or have more faith. Um, I [00:13:00] have, however, just because of the world of social media and that I'm posting about it to thousands of people who've never personally met me. Um, I have been told on social media that the devil is inside of me, um, that, um, God didn't invent pharma and I don't need medication.
[00:13:16] Courtney: I just need to pray more. Um, so that, uh, definitely. Hey, um, Satan has used that at times. I'm not going to lie. Just the overwhelmingness of it all. But I, I always remind myself that whenever I, whenever I post about my mental health, I do pray that it's finding the mom, the woman who needs to read that. Um, and then God's using those words.
[00:13:41] Courtney: Um, but I always remind myself that if I get a comment like that, that's hurtful or just, you know, ignorant really because They just, a lot of times they don't know, um, and that's what they've been taught to believe through their, their church and their, um, theology. [00:14:00] Uh, but I always remind myself that for every hurtful comment that I get, I usually get another five, 10 messages or DMS or comments from women that are thanking me for sharing my story because they have the same struggles.
[00:14:12] Courtney: So it is definitely worth it when you know that you are helping someone out there. Um, but it is also very. Very hard for somebody who has been told that multiple times.
[00:14:26] Carla: I'm very good with my block button now. Yeah.
[00:14:31] Courtney: Yes, yes, yes. Um, I agree there. Um, so yeah, to any listener who's been told that I. I'm truly sorry because it's, those are Christ followers that are telling you that.
[00:14:44] Courtney: And that sometimes I think hurts more because they're supposed to be the hands and feet of Jesus. And I don't believe Jesus would ever say that to you because he wouldn't. Um, and that there is, there are church communities out there. I mean, we are [00:15:00] as Christians talking about it a lot more and more. And so I pray that.
[00:15:04] Courtney: the amount of churches that are, you know, having supportive systems in place around that or, um, you know, resources available. I actually found my Christian counselor through my church. They had a list of them on the website. So it was really nice that I was able to find a Christian counselor too, because that was important to me.
[00:15:24] Courtney: Um, so I'm just praying that as we start speaking out more and. Creating more awareness that we can break that stigma and that more churches will start being supportive and loving like the, the church family that I have.
[00:15:40] Carla: I love that. You know, one of the things that I love about your words, and you are so good with words, the words that pour out on IG from you, um, friends, you got to follow her on Instagram.
[00:15:54] Carla: Um, I know that you often share how Jesus meets you [00:16:00] in your chaos and how, you know, Jesus equips you for the calling. When it feels overwhelming and when it feels like you can't, how do you walk so in step with Jesus?
[00:16:17] Courtney: I'm not going to lie. It's hard when you've got an infant.
[00:16:21] Carla: It looks, it looks different at different seasons.
[00:16:24] Carla: And I think that some women have this idea that it has to be quiet and holy and an hour long. And really it's depending the season you're in. Yeah, you can still meet Jesus of you and your chaos. What does meeting with Jesus look like?
[00:16:43] Courtney: Yes. Um, so I'd say like a year ago it was, I'm not a morning person. I know a lot of people do their quiet time in the morning.
[00:16:50] Courtney: I can't, I love my sleep too much. Um, so for me, I, I mean, I, I pray in the morning, that's how I start my day. Um, but. The Bible time [00:17:00] and all of that is typically after the kids go to sleep at night. Um, that's when I get my quiet time. I do also think it's important though, that I'm bringing up the Bible. In the chaos and during the day so that they're seeing me read it.
[00:17:14] Courtney: I know my oldest son, when he, um, me and my husband, if we have our Bibles pulled out, typically I got on a Sunday afternoon or something after church, he goes and grabs his as well. And like, he hasn't read yet, but he's like, just so excited about it. And, you know, wants to like, be like mommy and daddy. And here he is, you know, asking these questions about these different books in the Bible and different characters and stuff like that.
[00:17:36] Courtney: And. So he's excited about it. And I think it's important for our kids, you know, not just tell them what to do when it comes to faith and all of that, but actually showing them what to do. So, um, I do try to do that as well. Obviously it's not always as productive because it is bringing my Bible out in the chaos.
[00:17:57] Courtney: This season that I'm in now, though, [00:18:00] currently, like there is the first month is just like, you know, survival mode after you have a baby. So it was very much just pulling out my phone during the 2 a. m. feeding and just, you know, pulling out, um, First 5 app, just a little devotional, um, and it's not much, it's not, um, You know, what I typically like to do, but it is something.
[00:18:24] Courtney: And so just giving myself a little bit of that, because I, I really, I struggled so much that first month, just feeling so spiritually dry and far away from him. Yeah. I just knew I had to like. Get something. Um, and so, and then it's just a lot of prayers. Like, you know, I may not be able to just sit there and have my Bible all perfectly highlighted and everything, but when you're rocking a newborn and it's 1am, it's just praying and just being with him and it's silent at that time.
[00:18:55] Courtney: And so it's just me and him and the sleeping babe and just [00:19:00] thanking him for everything. Yeah.
[00:19:03] Carla: Yeah. We can actually talk to him throughout the day, we can talk to him in the mundane actions of doing the laundry. Yeah. Um, and he is so faithful to meet us where we're at in our seasons. Like he will not miss a moment of showing up when we reach out to him.
[00:19:26] Carla: Yeah, and he's so good that way. All right, what would be a last piece of encouragement. For the mama who's in the thick of it and feels like she's drowning. Like, I just can't keep my head above water. I need yeah, someone to reach down and pull me out,
[00:19:48] Carla: make me cry.
[00:19:49] Courtney: Um,
[00:19:51] Carla: I think because identify with that
[00:19:52] Courtney: feeling, I'm feeling that right now. Um, I, I guess said I've been struggling with some postpartum depression. Um, And [00:20:00] I actually had a moment like a month or so ago in the shower, just crying and weeping and wailing. And just like, God, pull me out of the pit, pull me out.
[00:20:09] Courtney: I promise I'll come back and I'll pull another woman out with me. Um, right now I just need to get out of this pit. Um, so I would say this next, this last month, I mean, like you said, it's like, It comes and goes like sometimes like there's moments where it's like, okay, I'm not just relapsing and just, you know, and I just keep reminding myself like, okay, if today was hard, that doesn't mean tomorrow is going to be hard.
[00:20:34] Courtney: Or if today was good, that means tomorrow can also be good. It's kind of what I've been telling myself as I'm just going through all this postpartum fun hormones and everything like that. Um, So I have had to learn to ask for help. So for any mama who is like in the trenches and feels like she's drowning, I am not one who likes to ask for help, but [00:21:00] I've had to ask for help.
[00:21:01] Courtney: So grandparents are, you know, coming and helping once a week with the older kids just to kind of give me that break. Um, and I have. Not only that, but I've had to ask for help again through my therapist. So I had, after writing my book, um, I had stopped going to therapy because I, you know, felt like I had come out of the other side of my debilitating anxiety.
[00:21:24] Courtney: Um, so now I'm going back to therapy. For the postpartum depression. Um, so, and that was something that, um, I initiated and I went forward and did, um, my pediatrician was actually a little nervous with me after one of my visits. I think it was the month checkup or. Yeah. Month or two month follow up. Um, and I just told her, I was like, Nope, I've already got the appointment with the therapist set up.
[00:21:50] Courtney: I'm, I'm going to do it. So, um, so not being afraid to ask for help, whether it's support system, that village, whoever going to [00:22:00] therapy, medication, whatever it may be. And to just remind yourself that Jesus is not leaving you throughout all of it. Um, he is. He's right there. And sometimes he feels far away.
[00:22:13] Courtney: I'm not going to lie. Like I said, when I'm like, okay, it's been like days and I haven't been in my Bible. Like I, I need to be, or should be, or want to be, um, he can feel very far away, but just reminding myself that he's not leaving me not once. He never has, he never will. Um, and that would be my last encouragement to the mom in the trenches.
[00:22:35] Carla: I love that. And where can people find your book?
[00:22:40] Courtney: Um, so my book, I'm not quite sure when this is airing, but it, um, is available September 5th. Um, so it's available
[00:22:48] Carla: now. It's available now.
[00:22:50] Courtney: Okay. We are after September 5th right now. So it is available anywhere, everywhere. Um, so, um, you can find it on Amazon.
[00:22:58] Courtney: You can find it on BarnesandNoble. [00:23:00] com. Christian books. Uh, target. com books, a million, um, anywhere books are sold and, um, you can find me at Courtney Devich. com. And then I'm on Instagram and Facebook at Courtney Devich author.
[00:23:14] Carla: And we will put those in the show notes. So mama's got anxiety, but it's not going to steal her joy.
[00:23:21] Carla: Friends pick up this book, even if you're not in the trenches of the newborn stage, the anxieties. Just change as the kids get older. They don't go away. I have a 15 year old. I now have the type of anxieties that come with a 15 year old and a teenager. So yeah, it doesn't matter what stage you are in your, in your motherhood, like.
[00:23:46] Carla: Somebody tried to tell me
[00:23:47] Courtney: the other day that it gets easier as you have older kids. I was like, I don't think so. I think it would get worse. Cause they're not, you know, they're starting to drive cars and they're not like under your, your watch
[00:23:59] Carla: [00:24:00] fly 24 sevens. There's like certain things that get easier.
[00:24:03] Carla: Like I'm not wiping bums anymore. Yes. But you know, now we're having conversations about sex and drugs and it's going off into the world and there's influences that you can no longer control. So the heart changes. You do tend to get a little bit more sleep. That will be good. Thank you. The teenage years do bring a little bit more sleep.
[00:24:32] Carla: But yeah, this, this, this book can be an encouragement for whatever stage you are in your walk with motherhood. So I would encourage you to pick it up and definitely go check out Courtney on Instagram because just the way she writes, she was made to write and to encourage and you will be encouraged by her.
[00:24:51] Carla: So everything will be in the show notes. Thank you so much. Congratulations on this book. Do not let your [00:25:00] anxieties steal your joy of bringing this into the world. I know that it would be normal to be anxious with something like this. I would be, and anxiety is not my thorn, um, but we just, you know, I just want to bless you and just, you know, You, you know this, but just want to tell you and remind you that God's got you.
[00:25:24] Carla: Thank you. Thanks for being here. Okay. Take care. Thank you for having me.
[00:25:27] Courtney: Bye bye.
[00:25:33] Carla: Thanks for joining me today. I hope we're already friends on social media, but if we're not, come find me on Instagram at Carla Agres or at Affirming Truths. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye.