S7 Bonus 3 | What Really Is Successful Living? And How Do You Get There?
In today’s bonus episode, Carla takes you through some reflective questions she’s been asking her clients lately as they have described wanting to live a successful life.
What truly is a successful life from the kingdom perspective?
And how do you get there?
Grab a paper and pen and jot down your thoughts - then head over to instagram and share them with Carla!
1. Rethinking Success
Challenge Your Definition:
Reevaluate your concept of success. Often, societal standards may not align with kingdom success.
Beyond External Recognition:
Success isn't just about external recognition, wealth, or an easy life. Kingdom success involves joy, peace, and living in alignment with God's purpose.
2. Kingdom Success Indicators
Fruits of the Spirit:
Measure success by living a spirit-led life and embodying the fruits of the Spirit.
Bold Faith:
Walking with bold, courageous faith and fulfilling your unique calling and purpose.
3. Daily Habits for Success
Spiritual Practices:
Incorporate daily Bible study and prayer to deepen your connection with God.
Physical Well-being:
Prioritize exercise, proper nutrition, and self-care for optimal mental and physical health.
Healthy Relationships:
Invest time in meaningful relationships, including quality time with family.
4. Practical Steps
Imagine Success:
Envision the day-to-day life of a person living a successful, kingdom-focused life.
Implement Changes:
Align your daily habits with the imagined success to bring about positive change.
5. Share Your Journey
Community Engagement:
Connect on social media and share your insights and challenges in redefining success. Engage in open conversations and support one another.
Remember, success is not a destination but a journey. Embrace a life that reflects the values of the Kingdom and find fulfillment in God's purpose for you.
Connect With Carla:
Inquire about 1:1 coaching ---> carlaagreswellness@gmail.com
Join In His Image Wellness Collective ---> carlaargeswellness@gmail.com
Come hangout on IG with me @carlaarges
Check out the blog
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Carla: Hey friends, welcome to Affirming Truths. I'm your friend and host, Carla Arges. This show is a safe place to share our struggles, grow in faith, and root our identity in Christ. My hope is that you will leave each episode feeling encouraged in your journey. Subscribe so you don't miss an episode and it would mean the world to me if you would leave a review.
[00:00:30] Carla: I am so glad you're here. Let's get started. Hey friends, it's Carla here. Welcome to this week's bonus episode of Affirming Truth. I thought that we would do something a little bit different today. And I'm going to walk you through a bit of coaching that I've had to do a couple of times recently with clients.
[00:00:56] Carla: And I thought, wow, if If this is becoming [00:01:00] a common theme with my clients, then this may be something that you could benefit from as well. And it has to do with this idea of striving for and living what we believe is a fulfilled life or what the word is used sometimes by my clients is a successful life, that they want to be successful at life.
[00:01:27] Carla: And I often challenge them to really write out what their belief of a successful life is. So let me ask you first of all, are you satisfied with your life? Are you satisfied with the state of your mental health? Are you, are you satisfied with the mindset that you bring to things? Are you proud of the way that you respond versus react?
[00:01:58] Carla: What is the state of [00:02:00] your relationships? How is work going? What, what is your motherhood look like? You see, oftentimes when I challenge my clients to list out what their definition of success is. It has very little in common with what kingdom success is. So, oftentimes, success means that I am well liked, and I'm successful at my job, and I have lots of money, and because I have lots of money, I don't worry about things, that my life is easy.
[00:02:42] Carla: If life is easy, then I've hit success. Um, success looks like people looking up to me, getting recognition, being recognized. Um, success means holding a certain position or having a certain reputation. [00:03:00]And I want to challenge That, if that's your, your idea of success and really let's drill down to what truly makes a fulfilled life that truly makes a life worth living for me.
[00:03:21] Carla: And I have struggled and guys, I struggled with this idea of success too, when I was diagnosed with my mental illness and I had huge struggles that prevented me from working. In the area that I was schooled to work in my background, I'm university educated, my backgrounds in marketing. I worked in the financial service industry and I could not work in a, in a nine to five job, I couldn't even hold down part time jobs working retail because my mental health does not [00:04:00] thrive.
[00:04:00] Carla: In these areas, my mental health prevents me from working for other people, my mental illness, I should say, and for a long time. I saw that as failure and I interpreted my inability to, you know, work where I got my degree to be quote unquote successful in the corporate world meant that my life wasn't a success.
[00:04:29] Carla: And that mindset brought a lot of self loathing. I mean, a lot of it was rooted in core beliefs that. I had to earn my worth. I had to produce to be valued. All of those things, right? Really rooted in core beliefs. And we're going to do a whole other episode on core beliefs. And really, when I look at my life now, it doesn't look like What I thought [00:05:00] success had to be invited to all the parties The life of the party, you know, miss social light had it wrong Meanwhile while I was chasing those things my mental illness was getting the best of me.
[00:05:19] Carla: My family life was struggling My identity was elusive, and yes, it's true, part of that comes with borderline personality, but part of it came with me not being rooted in Christ. And, when I look at my life today, It's not perfect, and it's not easy, but man, would I consider it a success? Would I consider it a success?
[00:05:49] Carla: I have joy in my life, when before I was gripped by anxiety and depression, oh, those ways of depression, [00:06:00] when I just did not want to live, and I just could not get out of bed. Those were hard times. That was not successful living when my marriage was strained, when I was acting as a dysregulated mom and, and creating generational trauma, thank goodness I stopped that with my son.
[00:06:29] Carla: My life by all accounts is a success. I have joy. I have peace. I have assurance. I have a great relationship with my husband. I have a great relationship with my son. It's not perfect. You know, we struggle with the same things that families struggle with in North America. You know, we're feeling the pain of inflation in our [00:07:00]finances.
[00:07:00] Carla: We're feeling the pain of how expensive everything's got. We struggle in, in helping Caleb navigate what living with OCD looks like, you know, sometimes my husband who works corporately, he struggles with feeling underappreciated and the workload and how some of these jobs just want all of your time and he's such a family guy, you know, there's struggles, but I've learned that, you An easy life is not what a successful life is, because God told us that we would have trials.
[00:07:40] Carla: God is in the process of refining us. God's in the process of pruning us. That comes with pain, that comes with discomfort, that comes with challenge. And so the success is not Daydreaming about some perfect life that's not [00:08:00] realistic and that you always feel discontent because you can never attain.
[00:08:06] Carla: Success is. Do you have joy? Do you wake up with joy? Are you pe Do you have peace in the midst of the trial? Are you firmly rooted in Christ? Have you worked through your trauma so you can regulate your triggers? Can you get to a point where you can help your child when they're dysregulated rather than get dysregulated yourself?
[00:08:32] Carla: That's success. Are you walking where God has called you? See, he has given you unique gifts and abilities, and he wants to use them for the kingdom. Are you walking in your calling? Are you pursuing your purpose? That's successful living. And so I want to challenge you today to get honest with yourself.
[00:08:59] Carla: What is [00:09:00] your current definition of successful living? And does it actually address what success is in the kingdom? Living a spirit led life, living in the fruits of the spirit, walking with bold, courageous faith in the places God calls you, taking radical responsibility over your mental illness and mental health so that you can thrive.
[00:09:35] Carla: I want you to get really honest. with what kingdom success would look like in your life. What would that look like? Would it look like you being a better steward of your finances? Would it look like you taking responsibility over your health and getting better so you can show up better for your family?
[00:09:56] Carla: Would it look like renewing your mind regularly, so [00:10:00] you're not stuck in a catastrophic black and white thinking, where everything you see is negative? What would success look like? And then, I want you to imagine, I want you to imagine the person, that has that success in their life. What does their day to day look like?
[00:10:26] Carla: The person that's living a successful life through the lens of the kingdom, what does their day to day life look like? Do they do Bible study every day? I bet you they do. Are they moving every day? Are they feeling their body right? Are they taking time to rest? Do they have healthy boundaries? Have they gone to therapy to help heal their wounds?
[00:10:56] Carla: Have they maybe traded in for a job that [00:11:00] was causing too much mental stress and trusting God and faith and stepping out into another area? What does their day to day look like? And how can you implement That into your day. If the type of success you want looks like daily time with God, daily exercise, getting enough water, taking time to bathe in worship, taking time for eyeball to eyeball conversations with your kids and not through half the scrolls, if it means date nights and having fun and learning to play with your husband again, start making your day And your schedule reflect what a successful person's schedule would look like, [00:12:00] right?
[00:12:02] Carla: If you want that successful life, if you want to thrive in your mental health, if you want to thrive in your relationships, if you want to work and calling and purpose, and that's not happening right now, then you need to change something. And our life. is made up of the everyday habits we do. So you want to change your life?
[00:12:31] Carla: You start changing your everyday habits. What are the everyday habits of people that are thriving? What are the everyday habits of people that are deeply rooted in their identity in Christ? What are the everyday habits of people who know who God is and operate in trust and faith and joy?
[00:12:56] Carla: I would love to hear from you guys on this. [00:13:00] Come find me on Instagram, Karla Arges, and let me know going through this exercise, what did you discover about yourself? Where do you need to make shifts in what you do daily? How has your idea of success been challenged? Come tell me, I want to know, or email me KarlaArgesWellness at gmail.
[00:13:25] Carla: com. I want to know what going through this exercise has done for you. Because I know it's been very eye opening to a lot of my clients. All right, guys. I'll talk to you later
[00:13:44] Carla: Thanks for joining me today I hope we're already friends on social media, but for not come find me on Instagram At Carla arches or at affirming truth. Can't wait to see you back here next week. Bye friend[00:14:00]